unclefather:

my mom said “what is a twink” really loudly at the table in the olive garden 

rocketraccoonandgroot:

basedbutts:

i’m either killing my roommate or myself 

wonder who’s going down first

WhHHYYYyyyY?? 

she’s pissin me off mang

flowersam:

you ever look at a kink and think “nah” then a few years later look at the same kink and go “actually yes”

ruinedchildhood:

Mom: Home in 5 minutes, hope you’ve taken the chicken out of the freezer

Me: image

How to tell how much of a Marvel fan the people in the movie theater are:

shadowjumpingsherlock:

will-graham-willgraham:

cupcakeforger:

supergleefuldoctorwolflock:

Stage 1: Those who leave as soon as the movie ends

Stage 2: Those who know to stay until the credits for the extra scene

Stage 3: Those who stay until the end of the credits for the second extra scene

I’m a stage three. 

We all are

Stage 4: those who will stay until the ushers kick them out because they don’t trust marvel

And if you call me at 4 am, too sad to even say hello, I will listen to your silence until you fall asleep. If you need to cry I will not wipe your tears away because you are only human and sometimes tears are as close to laughter as you can get and that’s okay. If you get sleepy I will let you drool on my arm and I won’t laugh at you if you snore too loud. If you need to yell so hard that your voice cracks and your knees fail I will hold you up and yell with you. If you get so angry you punch your hands red I will ice your knuckles and tell you that wounds heal both inside and out, and just like the cold that is harsh and burning, I will always be the warmth to soothe you and make you feel better. I will love you.
― lntroductions.tumblr.com (via lntroductions)